I did some good things for myself today. I quit sitting in the dark and turned on the lights in my apartment. I took my meds. I met a friend for hot beverages and discovered delicious Mayan hot chocolate. In an effort to avoid isolating, I went to my church's weekly community dinner and sat at a table with friends. I mostly just picked at my food. I felt alone. And that's when the tears started.
I'm not sure why or if there was any trigger at all. I just said goodnight and scooted out to my car where I sat and let the tears fall for awhile.
Now that I'm home I won't fight the crying for awhile. I'll see what I can do to remind myself of the positive and let what happens happen. And I'll re-read the positive messages I've received.
But right now I am hurting.
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