It occurred to me today that it is likely that I will live into my mid-80's. That's when my grandparents died, my mother is in that range and receiving hospice care, and my aunts and uncle also died during those years.
What's my 25 year plan?
Planning is not my strong suit. When I'm not functioning within a highly structured organization (school, work, etc), I flounder. Heck, I turn to stone. A square stone anchored in the earth, incapable of moving unless acted upon by earthquake force.
I want to flourish, thrive, live life with gusto! As I said on New Year's Day, I am welcoming prosperity, good health, true friendship, and love into my life. Very large welcome mat needed for all of that!
Prosperity is closer. I am working enough hours on a regular basis that I can do budget projections. I know that I need to find a less expensive place to live in order to cut my monthly expenditures. I have credit card debt that I need to deal with, but don't see the possibility of resolving it any time soon. I need to put meds at the top of my expenses. I need to keep finding ways to reduce my gasoline use and still be able to accept work assignments that are offered to me. I need to store something more than ice cubes in my freezer. I've been in tough financial situations before so I feel most capable of doing the necessary work toward achieving prosperity.
Good health is visibly in progress. I've lost 50 pounds as the result of physical labor and consuming less food. Although I'm often tired, I am taking time to rest when my body demands that I sleep. Getting back on meds (taking them as prescribed) is the most important next step that I can take.
True friendships exist in my life for what feels like the first time ever. My friends all appear to accept me just as I am. No one seems to want to change me. This is evidence that I'm allowing access to the right people. I don't hesitate to ask when I am in need, share when I have a cupful of joy, and they understand that I'm just beginning to figure out friendships. This is all new to me and I am so grateful that I finally feel accepted.
Love. I want to be married or in a long term committed relationship with a man who wants me. A man who loves me. I want a home that is our sanctuary. While I don't want to have my whole life revolve around the man of my dreams, I do want both of us to want to give our relationship priority. I don't feel closer to this goal, but I have received some excellent advice on the subject. My older gentlemen, my male clients, have done so much to help me see my good qualities. They sometimes lecture me, but in a way that I feel nurtured and valued. And they all have romantic notions. They tell me that I will know the "right" man when he enters my life and that Mr. Right will recognize me and will not rest until he has captured my heart. That meshes with my "Some Enchanted Evening" perspective. I've become quite pragmatic through the years, but there is still a romantic spark that I hold to tightly. I want to feel that electricity, that connection, that desire to surrender to the magnetism.
Then I remind myself that, until I take better care of myself in every possible way, I won't be able to maintain prosperity, share true friendships, maintain a loving relationship, and be both physically and mentally healthy. I now allow myself to be my best ME.
NEXT CHAPTER: Plotting a course
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