My Romantic Reality Checks

I will be the first to admit that I have little experience with romantic love. I know that in the past I would develop strong crushes that I would never reveal to the beloved. However, there has been a time or two that I have overwhelmed someone with expressions of my feelings, mainly because I had taken so long, years sometimes, to speak up.

It's been a long time since I've been involved with any man. I'm not sure I know what are realistic expectations. I put my heart on the line a little and have sustained a bruise -- nothing broken because I didn't invest myself that much. Tonight, while this is fresh on my mind, I'm going to set down some red flags, guidelines, or reality checks.

-- I will guard my heart if I feel that he is sending mixed signals and sort out what was actually said and done from what was my interpretation. If the issue is important enough to me, I will seek clarification from him. If the issue is not important to me, I will not put any more energy into it.

-- In addition to sharing all the good qualities I have, I will be open about those aspects of me that can be challenging. I will be open about who I am. If he is equally open, I will respect and appreciate that trust. I am a pretty straightforward person and I will remain true to who I am.

-- I acknowledge that I am a good listener. If he does most or all the talking, I will stay open to the idea that he only wants an audience. If he talks, but also expresses curiosity and interest in my life, I will remain open. If I fail to assert myself, I will try to determine why I am holding back.

-- I will not hold back expressing my enthusiasm until such a time that I feel it will be met with equal enthusiasm. I get excited about new opportunities, new things, new people in my life. I don't always express it, but I think it's time I quit squelching myself and give voice to my enthusiasm in all areas of my life.

-- I will remain true to who I am.

-- I will read my blog because this is a way that I am honest with myself. Had I been paying attention to what I have written, I would not have a bruised heart.

-- I will spend more time laughing than crying. I want a relationship with someone who shares my optimism (and sick sense of humor).

-- I will not spend time comparing him to my father or anyone else with whom I have had a negative relationship. If I begin doing this, I will immediately take a step back and closely examine my feelings.