I'm not aware of a 12 step program for those of us who are navigating life after diagnosis. But I intend to explore how to apply such a program to my life. This is where and when I'll begin.
In my efforts to find some relief from the helplessness I felt pre-diagnosis, I came across the book If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth. Bells rang, alarms blared, lightbulbs appeared over my head! Yes, I had controlling parents! Of course I recognized that this was not the source of my difficulties, but it sure felt like a situation that could exacerbate whatever was going on with me. This book led me to other resources that helped then and, if I will use them, can help me now.
My next discovery was ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). So many things rang true! There is a history of alcoholism in my family and I consider myself an alcoholic. I felt no ill effects from drinking. I never drank excessively (which is probably not an accurate statement), but there was a point where I needed a drink to sleep. Alcohol no longer had a place in my home, but I could visit it when I went on a single-moms-out-night. There was a strong connection between alcohol and sex for me. Sober sex? I don't have much experience with it, but I do know that it's much easier to realize when the wrong man is in my bed if I don't drink. Ok, I don't have years of experience in this area. The one man I've had sober sex with was still an impulsive situation for me, but I recognized very quickly that I did not want him in my body again. I'm at a complete loss now. I don't know how to meet a nice man. I don't know how to behave around nice men. And as much as I'd love to spoon with a snoring, drooling, musky, good man, I have a hard time believing it will ever happen. I've met one nice man since diagnosis, but I fell back on some of my old behaviors. Overwhelming. Enthusiastic -- hyperenthusiastic. Teenage me. Socially inept me. I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again. Melodrama! Sheesh.
The challenge in this area, and in all other areas for me, is to determine what is "normal" and to learn how to integrate the lovely parts of being bipolar with the behaviors that nurture life with other people. The result should be a higher quality of life. A less lonely life.
Meds help smooth off each end of the spectrum.
They work if you take them. Load the mediset.
It works if you work it. Read the big red book.
10 minutes after posting: Lesson learned. Google first. There are already programs that combine mental health and 12 step programs. Sheesh.
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