Fall episodes of depression have been part of my life since at least puberty. An exacerbating factor is the fact that my father's suicide occurred in the Fall. But I didn't factor in an incident that occurred just last year.
Last November my job was eliminated. There were ups and downs to that. The main up was that I was no longer living in fear of my job being eliminated -- it was done and I could get on exploring new paths. The main down has been the uncertainty of finding work that has health insurance and provides sufficient income.
But I had forgotten another down. My job was eliminated one week before Thanksgiving, two weeks before my birthday, and three weeks prior to my four year anniversary with the company. Last year I was not feeling like being thankful and my son celebrated with his employer's family. I added guilt to my sadness.
Things are better in that I'm at least partially employed and have set having funds for my meds as my first priority. Juggling bills is something that I have done many times in my life -- no surprises there. Although I spend my workdays taking care of others, I am not totally drained because I have accumulated friends -- friends who stick by me in hard times as well as good times. And I have an incredible son.
I can survive this current bout.
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