I used to think I wanted to live to be 100 years old; I'm rethinking that. My clients have been incredible people, but they are fragile in mind and body.
Today my client was non-responsive when I arrived. EMS arrived quickly and took him to the hospital. I found out later that he might be able to come back home. His wife, also my client, was strong and determined and right by his side. I would love to have the same type of loving relationship that they have -- absolutely devoted to each other and so delighted to be together.
So that has made me start thinking, but not in a positive way. I am already in the demographic of unemployed women who may never again be employed and I know I've heard of one prediction that women of my age are more likely to be killed by terrorists than to get married. I've been alone so very long. It feels like forever.
I want to get married or enter into a committed relationship with a man who is loving, honest, straight-forward, silly, intelligent, playful, responsible, faithful, sober, passionate, and who absolutely adores me. I should start visualizing this and putting this description on one of the white boards. First step in having this is believing that I am worthy and that it is possible.
So the depression is much less severe, but I am feeling sad.
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